Seeking the Rainbow

It's been almost three weeks since I left the hotel industry. With one diagnosis a couple of months ago, it has totally changed the direction in my path. Little did I know I was suffering from an affliction. Doctor even called me the "walking time bomb", indicating my now-illness was life-threatening. I could suffer from sudden stroke or worse, premature death.

Prior to the life-changing medical check up, I was offered a position at a well-known plantation firm and before I could even officially shift to the other side from my former workplace, I was required to go through a medical procedure as part of the company's HR policy upon recruiting new staff. The medical test later turned out to be negative hence I failed to secure the position and the offer was retracted by the company. I was given the chance to stay back at my former workplace, however, I was firm with my decision to resign.

Had I gone out of my mind? What was my back-up plan if I were to leave my day job? After the job offer was cancelled, I attended a few more job interviews but none was successful. Yet, I was adamant to leave my 8 to 5 job. I kept telling myself, I need to focus on nursing myself back to health. It wasn't easy but I had no choice but to pull the brake. 

Now I am at home, resting and trying not to put myself in stressful situations like I did when I was employed. Sometimes I cannot help but to worry where will I be heading to in the future?

My arts commissions start to kick in, which is actually a good sign, but I have to be realistic as well. Earning from commissions won't guarantee even up to 4-figure pay on monthly basis. Patience, friends have been telling me. No matter how much I have been trying to reassure myself to not worry so much, there's always a space where the feeling of uncertainty lingers in me.

Where to next? Frankly speaking, I am clueless. The main goal right now, is to seek for the rainbow at the end of this path. Will I be able to do that?

"No matter how small is the ray of light, it still gives one direction."

(Michael Howard, a gangster turned motivator)